Dorothy Allison's essay is a powerful indictment of misogyny in her family. Her energy pushes you through disjointed memories of her conversations with the "ugly and old and exhausted, solid, stolid, wide-hipped baby machines" in her family. Her essay conveys the hatred and fear she had at becoming another ugly woman in her family. "The women I loved most in the world horrified me. I did not want to grow up to be them. I made myself proud of their pride, their determination, their stubbornness, but every night I prayed a man's prayer: Lord, save me from them. Do not let me become them."
She didn't become them. She broke the mold and her writing is impassioned with the energy of all her female ancestors and their lost voices. This is a good essay.
Does she mean physically ugly or emotionally ugly? Maybe the uglyness of thought overshadows all else, and it doesn't even matter. I cringed at the first quote because the language was so brash, but like the good kind of cringe, enjoying being under the capable wing of a talented but dark wordsmith.
ReplyDeleteI also laughed at the blunt, simple, and insistent statement that concludes this response. So matter-of-fact!
This sounds like something I'd enjoy reading. I've heard similar things many times -not wanting to become like your mother or grandmother. I do look the language you've quoted. The first is quite harsh and cynical but it doesn't bother me because frankly I feel just that cynical sometimes. I think I may just relate to this woman. Thanks for the heads up-I'm definitely going to read this soon.
ReplyDeleteGreat quotation, T. I'm thinking I have that line underlined in Allison's book. Checking. While I check, I see this nice description of smell from Allison:
ReplyDelete"Where I was born--Greenville, South Carolina--smelled like nowhere else I've ever been. Cut wet grass, split green apples, baby shit and beer bottles, cheap makeup and motor oil. Everything was ripe, everything was rotting." As you said, so much energy, an accumulating energy, even though the thing being described is kind of quotidian. The persona becomes part of the topic. The scorn and the passion.
And yes! I underlined that exact thing in the book version. Page 33. I knew it. Read this, like, six years ago. "We were all wide-hipped and predestined," it goes on. So, what about that "stolid" line appeals? Go the extra mile of analysis. Clearly there's something in the rhyme. Is there something to the fact that a person is retelling a blah existence with such panache?
Another solid underline I'm finding:
"Love was a curse that had somehow skipped me, which was no doubt why I was so good at multiple-choice tests and memorizing poetry."